“Freedom does not come by getting control of things or people but by freely assenting to the reality of being, whether that being is a stranger's illness, or a crushing disappointment, or an incomprehensible failure, or a futile desolation. We discover the meaning of the free life in acts of compassion and loving service, not in running after people who make big promises to us. We realize the life of freedom in Christ by accepting pain and trouble and ailments, not in grabbing after the smooth solutions to life proposed by celebrities or experts… Freedom comes from trusting, not from manipulating, from leaving matters to God rather than trying to be in control.”
– Eugene Peterson
One of the things I've learned while living in the DR is that I'm a control freak. Actually, I always knew this about myself, but there is something about the more extreme circumstances that helps our most central infirmities bubble up to the surface. I don't need to control all the people around me, insofar as what they are doing doesn't threaten my control of my own life. It's just that almost everything down here has threatened my state of being captain.
I really like the above quote. I'm trying to find the balance between no control and total control freak: healthy control, if you will. Since I'm very far on the side of no control, the danger will be to swing very far to the freak side when we get home.
I'm praying for trust rather than manipulation.
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